How to deal with difficult feedback

Giving and receiving feedback is a key part of a designer’s day-to-day. As you grow in your career in design and as a human you learn how to manage this process, but sometimes it  can be hard to deal with. Here are some tips I have learnt on handling difficult feedback without taking it personally and getting defensive:

1. Step back and breathe 

2. Ask for someone else’s opinion

3. Speak to that person and ask for examples

Step back and breathe 

When I think back to previous negative feedback I have received I instantly felt upset, offended and misunderstood. It’s perfectly natural to feel upset when receiving negative feedback but it’s important to try and look at it objectively. Which is why I like to take a step back and come back to it. I ask myself questions like:

• When would they have witnessed these behaviors? 

• Is there anything else that I can cross reference with what they have mentioned?

• Is there anything constructive  I can take from this feedback?

Ask for someone else’s opinion 

Asking for someone else’s opinion helps to keep you as objective as possible and not to take it personally.

Have they seen the same thing? Do they find the feedback out of character? What advice do they have? 

You may find that asking someone else’s opinion doesn’t actually help as they could find the feedback out of character, either way it’s important that you speak to the person who gave the feedback if you can. 

Ask for examples

If you know who the person who gave you that feedback then it is key for you to speak to that person and unpack the comments they have given you. During that session ask:

• Do they have any examples?

• What is their expectations of you?

• What are you expectations of them? 

• How would you like to receive feedback in the future?  

The last question is key as it will allow you to deal with future feedback in a way that works for you. I prefer to get feedback one to one so that I can unpack it and ask questions but that doesn’t necessarily work for everyone. Ensuring that you receive feedback in a way that suits you allows helps make it easier to receive feedback especially when it’s difficult.

Receiving negative feedback isn’t easy and it’s important to not take it personally and get emotional as it can cloud your judgement and cause you to react emotionally, especially in a work context. If you do find yourself receiving negative feedback remember to take a step back and try and look at the feedback objectively rather than a personal attack, trying to practice these principles will make it a lot easier to deal with difficult feedback.